Super Mario Odyssey: Blown Off Course
by ThatGuyHeroBrine
Summary: Mario's off on another adventure! He's running, jumping, and most importantly, rescuing Peach! Oh boy, Bowser's in for it this time!
1. SPOILER ALERT!

So! I see you've decided that my story is interesting. Don't worry, we'll be getting into the action soon. But first:

SPOILER ALERT!

This entire story is the biggest spoiler alert for Odyssey you can have. So unless you:

Have already played, and beaten, Super Mario Odyssey,

Have already _watched_ somebody play, and beat, Super Mario Odyssey, or

Simply don't care,

Don't read any further! This is a retelling of Super Mario Odyssey's storyline, and contains major spoilers for the game. So you have been warned! Now, if the _real_ chapter one hasn't been uploaded yet, just refresh the page. It should show up soon.


	2. Chapter 1: The Cap Kingdom

Mario hit the floor. He was on Bowser's airship, trying to stop his latest kidnapping attempt. Princess Peach was in the background, wearing a sentient tiara. Mario chose not to question that until _after_ he saved Peach. Bowser looked over at him. "So, Mario. You've decided to try and stop me? Well," he chuckled, "Good luck with that!" With a flourish, he took off his hat and threw it at Mario. Who expertly dodged it thanks to years of practice.

"Say," Mario said, "Nice hairstyle!" Bowser blinked.

"Really? I had it done for the occasion." the turtle-beast replied. Peach stared at the two.

"Aren't you supposed to be fighting each other?" she said. Both Mario and Bowser breathed an 'oh, yeah' before turning to one another.

"Missed me!" Mario shouted. Bowser smiled.

"Did I?" he said strangely. Suddenly, Peach shouted, "Mario!" The world's most famous plumber only had enough time to turn around before being hit by Bowser's hat, which had boomeranged back to hit him. The hit was so powerful, it knocked Mario's hat off, and sent him flying off of the ship. Bowser quietly did a little victory dance, before scooping up Mario's hat and tossing it over the edge of the ship. The hat was quickly shredded in the airship's propellers. Unbeknownst to everyone else, a white, top hat-shaped ghost caught the largest shred (the one with the M on it) and floated down to see how Mario had fared.

 **Super Mario Odyssey:**

 **Blown Off Course**

 _A 'dramatic' retelling of the entire story of Super Mario Odyssey._

 _Mario, Bowser, Peach, Cappy, etc. are property of Nintendo._

 _I do not claim ownership of anything, not even the storyline._

Mario awoke to the feeling of someone rummaging through his pocket. "Let's see here… Ah! There it is!" Mario suddenly felt a small weight leave his pocket. "Hmm… Let's see… 'Mario Mario, of the Mushroom Kingdom. Occupation: Plumber.' Huh. Well, it says his only known family is a... Luigi Mario, so i'll inform-" Mario's eyes shot open as he realized the weight he was missing was his wallet. He jumped to his feet, scaring the crap out of the ghost with the wallet. The ghost yelped and dashed away, completely forgetting that he was holding Mario's wallet.

"Get back here!" Mario shouted, chasing after the ghost. Mario chased him until the ghost ran out of breath in front of a whole lot of burning, top hat-shaped buildings. "Ar- whoo, -gh, you- hah, -scared me!" the ghost wheezed.

"Give me my wallet!" Mario shouted. The ghost blinked in realization.

"Oh, so _that's_ what the whole 'chasing me' thing was about! Well, you see, I thought you were _dead_ , so I was checking your wallet to find out who you were, so that I could call the police and inform them." the ghost stated, then nodded. "Here you go." he gave Mario the wallet back. "By the way, how _did_ you survive that fall? No _normal_ person could live through a fall like that!"

"I've had a _lot_ of practice. Anyway, I've got an airship to catch, so if you could direct me to the nearest flying machine, that would be nice." Mario said. The ghost made a face.

"Uh, about that… Well, all- yes, _all_ -of the kingdomś airships have been destroyed by that monster. Wait, you were fighting him, weren't you?" the ghost said, before shaking his… head. "Oh, where are my manners? I'm Cappy." Mario nodded.

"Nice to meet you, Cappy. Yes, I was fighting Bowser, we've been enemies since the beginning of time. And, if there's no airships here, do you know where I can find one?" Mario asked.

"I… do know where an airship is, but… I don't know if it works. Anyway, do you think I could join you? I mean, this… 'Bowser' kidnapped my sister, Tiara." Cappy said morosely. Mario's eyes widened.

"Peach's taira was your sister? Huh. Looks like he's serious about this whole… wedding thing. Well, more serious than normal." Mario said. "Alright, let's-a go!" Mario was about to dash off in some random direction but halted when he remembered that he didn't have his hat. "Say, you haven't seen a red hat with an M on it, have you?" Cappy went white- _er_ , if that was even possible. He looked at the hat shred in his hand.

"Uh, about that…" he said, showing Mario the hat. Mario's angry yell could be heard two kingdoms over. "Woah! Calm down, man! I have a proposition." Cappy said, waving his… arms?

"Yeah? What is it?" Mario said, still furious about the fact that the hat - _his_ hat, the one he's had since he was _born_ \- was destroyed.

"Well, I can be your new hat?" Cappy said. He demonstrated by turning into a white top hat and landing on Mario's head.

"Well, you _still_ aren't _my_ hat." Mario said grumpily. Cappy rolled his eyes and transformed into Mario's hat.

"Better?" he said.

"Much." Mario agreed.

The newly acquainted duo headed toward the gigantic tower. "So," Cappy said in an attempt to make conversation, "Did you know you can throw me? I'll always come back, though." Mario gave his hat a funny look.

"Oookay then." Mario said. They continued on in silence. They entered the tower. "Woah. That's… pretty high up. Why did you design it like that?" Mario said, staring up the huge wall. Cappy looked at the wall.

"Well, us Little Bonnetons are ghosts, so we can just fly up there. Say, i've got an idea! Try throwing me at one of those frogs over there!" Cappy suggested, coming off of Mario's head and gesturing to the trio of frogs that were hopping around next to the wall. Mario walked over to the frogs.

"Which one? There's three of them!" Mario said, looking between the frogs.

"Just pick one." Cappy responded.

"Alright!" Mario said, tossing Cappy at a frog. Instantly, the frog stopped, and Mario felt himself being lifted up, and then he was thrust into the frog. As he 'fell' through the frog's mind, he saw all of it's memories fly past. Eventually, he stopped falling, and was back in the tower. "Ribbit. Ribbit ribbit." [Woah. That was weird.] Mario said, then he did a double-take. "[Wait, what? Am I the _frog_ now?]" Cappy nodded.

"Yep! Also, it sure is a good thing I took that global translation class back in high school, or all I would hear is 'Ribbit Ribbit Ribbit.' You can get up the wall now." Mario (who was currently having a mild existential crisis) jumped up the wall. They continued climbing the tower until they reached the top, without much (read: any) resistance. Mario decided to ask a questions out of sheer boredom.

"[Hey Cappy, what's the deal with those tiny yellow goombas?]" he asked.

"Well, I don't know. I think that Bowser must have brought them. He also seems to have scared off the local paragoombas, too." Cappy said. "But they'll probably be back when Bowser leaves." Mario's froggy face contorted in confusion. (Try saying that ten times fast! Or don't. It's up to you.)

"[There are normally paragoombas here?]" he asked. Cappy… uh, did whatever a hat does to nod.

"Yeah. They don't bother us, so we don't bother them, either." he said. "Anyway, just tell me when you want to… you know, be Mario again."

"[Now would be nice.]" Mario said. Instantly he was himself again. The frog was in front of him, dazed. "That's it? No whoosh, memories, bam, Mario?" he said, looking at his hands.

"Uh, that… was an accident. Yeah, i'm kinda new to this whole… 'making someone else capture something' thing. That won't happen again." Cappy said.

Somewhere in the distant future, Cappy shuddered. "Is it just me, or is it getting cold?"

"Thank goodness." Mario said. "That was pretty trippy. Anyways, how do we get outside?" Cappy came off of Mario's head and turned back into a ghost.

"I'll open the door." He said, floating over to the door Mario swore wasn't there a second ago. After a few seconds, Mario decided to see what was taking Cappy so long. Cappy was floating in front of the door, holding a metal hairpin.

"Are you seriously trying to pick a lockless door?" Mario deadpanned, startling Cappy into dropping the hairpin.

"Uh… no?" the ghost responded. Mario rolled his eyes.

"Let me handle this." he said, raising his foot and kicking the door open. Cappy turned back into Mario's hat and they left the building.

They exited onto the brim of the giant top hat, which, similarly to Little Bonneton, was covered in burning airships. "Wow." Mario said. "You weren't kidding when you said _all_ of the airships were downed." Cappy… shrugged.

"There's a lot more that are lost in the fog." they passed by several Little Bonnetons who were still panicked about the whole… Bowser thing.

"You… You're not one of them, are you?"

"Agh! Don't hurt me!"

"St-stay b-back!" They were clearly scared. Cappy and Mario eventually (after going around the brim several times) made it to the top of the hat, where they were greeted by an unfamiliar quartet (group of four) of rabbits in a _very_ small ship.

"Who're you guys?" Mario asked. The shortest one (let's call him Lucky Charms) laughed.

"We're da weddin' planners for da happy couple! But you can call us… da Broodals!" he said. "Da Boss said you was comin', and dat we had ta stop you!" Lucky Charms (as he shall be forever branded) then jumped out of the ship and suddenly was wearing _three_ hats instead of one.

"Oh great. A bossfight." Mario deadpanned. Lucky Charms charged (aka bounced very slowly) at Mario. Mario chucked Cappy at the giant, leprechaun flavored rabbit and only succeeded at knocking one of his three hats off.

"My hat!" Lucky Charms shouted. "You'll pay for dat!" He proceeded to bounce at Mario at exactly the same speed. Mario simply knocked the remaining hats off, causing Lucky Charms to fall on his butt. "Noo!" he shouted. "My hats was protectin' my incredibly squashable head!" Mario took that as his queue to jump on Lucky Charms' head. "Oof! You'll pay for dat!" He then summoned three more hats and retreated into one. The hats bounced around a bit, and then Lucky Charms came out. Mario repeated the process, defeating the easiest boss in the game in record time.

"Why were you so quiet?" Cappy asked. Mario shrugged.

"I just didn't feel like the boss was good enough for commentary." he said. "Hang on a second, that power line _definitely_ wasn't there before." Mario pointed to a power pole that had appeared out of nowhere.

"Well, it's the only way to get to the Cascade Kingdom without an airship because plot reasons." Cappy stated blandly. Mario shrugged and captured the power line, whooshing off into the distance.

 **And here we end the first chapter. No, the required spoiler warning doesn't count. There will be no disclaimer, other than the one I gave at the beginning of this chapter. So! Question Of The Day: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate chapter one?**


	3. Chapter 2: The Cascade Kingdom

Mario the electric current shot down the power line. "Eeyaaaaah!" he shouted, noticing the end of the line. He shot off the end of the powerline, turning instantly pack into Mario. He slammed face first into the ground. "Ugh… Not one of my better landings…" He got up and took off Cappy. "So! Where are we?" Cappy rolled his eyes, turning back into his normal form.

"I already told you! The Cascade Kingdom! I mean, didn't the _enormous waterfall_ tip you off?" the irritated hat-ghost said. "Anyway, the airship is across the river." He gestured to the river that flowed from the waterfall. Mario dashed over to the river and looked across.

"Doesn't look like I can swim it," he said. Then he looked up. "Well would you look at that! A conveniently placed vertical bridge!" He ran over to try to push it down, and was promptly bitten by a chain-chomp. "Aghh, hey! You never mentioned chain-chomps!" Mario shouted angrily at Cappy, rubbing his exposed underwear. He quickly changed his pants and dashed out of the way as the chain-chomp shot at him again.

"Throw me at it! I can capture it!" Cappy shouted. Mario facepalmed.

"Why didn't I think of that?" he said, throwing Cappy at the chain-chomp. As the hat-ghost-dude had promised, there was no woosh-memories thing this time. "[Okay, now what?]" Mario the giant metal guard dog asked.

"Think of it like a slingshot. If you pull back from your target, then jump out of the chain-chomp, the chain-chomp will fling off!" Cappy said. Mario pulled back from the tall, vertical rock, and jumped out of the chain-chomp. The chomp hit the rock so hard it magically disappeared. Cappy came off of Mario's head and returned to his original shape.

"Hey, it's conveniently go- what's that?" Mario said, pointing to a hovering, yellow moon.

"It's a Power Moon. What's wrong? You look like you've never seen one before!" Cappy said. Mario blinked a few times, then shook his head.

"Nothing's wrong. It's just that in the Mushroom Kingdom, they're called Power Stars, and are star-shaped." Cappy stepped - er, floated - back a bit.

"Star-shaped? That's crazy! Every Power Moon _I've_ ever seen is moon-shaped!" Then he shrugged. "Just collect it like you would one of your power-stars." Mario grabbed the Power Moon and did his trademarked Moon Get! dance. Cappy stared at him. "What was _that_?"

"My Moon Get! dance," Mario said. Cappy gave him a strange look.

"Please only do that when it's required by the plot," he said. Mario sighed.

"Fine."

Across the not-very-long rock bridge, Mario and Cappy stared at the seemingly petrified airship. "Cappy, you told me it _worked_!" Mario shouted.

"I said it _might_! Nobody's used it in so long, so it's just sat here, gathering dust! It probably just needs some more power," Cappy said, hitting the heavily rusted airship. He shrugged. "Meh, I'll just see if the Power Moon we got is enough." He put himself on the randomly placed globe. Suddenly, the Power Moon Mario had collected floated out by the top of the rusty airship. It went into the glass thing on top, which glowed before turning cloudy again. A number appeared on the ship. "Huh. Looks like we need about four more Moons before this thing'll fly," Cappy said blandly. Due to plot reasons, the rest of the kingdom was suddenly filled with chain-chomps.

Mario had had it up to here (very high) with these chain-chomps. Sure, they were fun to watch from a distance, but up close… "GYAH! That's the _fifth_ pair of pants I've had to change in the past hour!" Yeah. Not so fun. He was currently trying to capture a giant chain-chomp in front of a large rocky wall. He threw Cappy at the chomp, but the little hat-shaped ghost would rather _not_ be eaten, so he flew out of reach. "That's it! I'm going to get the dinosaur!" Mario shouted angrily. "Come on, Cappy," he said. Cappy obliged, glad he was no longer being thrown at a large metal dog. They went back to where the enormous Tyrannosaurus Rex was sleeping.

"Alright Mario, let's just get this over with," Cappy said, making Mario capture the T-Rex. Mario the giant dinosaur stomped angrily over to the chain-chomp and punted it off into the Cap Kingdom. "Hey! I live over there!" Cappy shouted angrily.

"[They'll be fine,]" Mario said. "[I overshot it anyway.]" It was at that moment Mario noticed the excruciating pain in his giant dinosaur foot. "GRAAAAAAH!" he roared, grabbing his foot and falling over. As he fell, he happened to smash into the giant rock wall, immediately popping back into himself. Cappy rolled his eyes.

"Gee, who knew kicking a _three ton_ steel dog several miles would _hurt_?" he said sarcastically. Mario glared at his hat. Then he noticed what had been behind the rocks.

"Hey look, a 2D section! I haven't seen one like that since the 80's!" he said. Cappy gave him a look.

"This isn't a '2D section' or whatever you called it. It's a _cave painting_ ," the sentient red hat said. Mario shrugged.

"Whatever you say, but how do you explain the voxelated pipe?" he said, gesturing to the obvious pipe. Cappy fumed in silence. Mario rolled his eyes, entering the pipe. He came out in the cave painting. " _See_?" he said. If the hat-ghost had teeth, and wasn't two-dimensional, he would've gritted them together. Mario just broke a few blocks and popped out of the top. "Huh. I guess they don't make 'em like they used to." Mario looked around on the top.

"Hey, look over there!" Cappy said. He pointed to a _very_ large rabbit lady with a _huge golden chain-chomp_. Mario whistled sharply.

"Oh man, how did she get one like that? I've _been_ to the Chompworks before, and they _don't_ make them out of _gold_!" he said. Then he thought for a moment. "At least, not that I remember." Cappy looked down at his friend.

"You've _been_ there? But that's on another planet!" he said, before making a 'whatever' motion with his arms. "Anyway, she's got a Multi-Moon, which is basically three moons put together."

To make a short scene shorter, let's just say Mario smashed a few chain-chomps together, and made it to the boss… after accidentally falling off the cliff three times. The big rabbit-lady slowly turned around, revealing the worst use of jiggle-physics ever in a video game. "My eyes!" Mario and Cappy shrieked in unison.

"Hey, you! You're the one who beat up Lucky Charms!" the rabbit lady said. "Oh well, I'll just have to kill you!" she shouted menacingly. Mario rolled his eyes.

"Yeah yeah, I've heard that before. I've got infinite lives lady, I'll just be back again!" he said. Cappy stared at him.

"Infinite-" he began.

"Later, Cappy!" Mario cut him off sharply, jumping out of the way of the golden chomp. He threw the hat at the chomp, which only succeeded in knocking it's flower hat off. He dodged it again, narrowly avoiding losing another pair of pants. "My tailor is going to _kill_ me after this!" He threw Cappy at the chomp again, this time successfully capturing it. The rabbit swung at him. "[Gyah! Watch it, lady!]" he shouted. He rushed away from the furious rabbit with the flowery hat and accidentally jumped out of the chomp, sending it flying into the rabbit's face.

"Oooohhh…" Mario and Cappy said, cringing in unison. The rabbit lady, sent into a blind fury, picked up the _solid freaking gold_ chain-chomp and flung it at them. Cappy quickly knocked it's hat off again. The rabbit, now flushed red with anger, set her golden pet after them again. Once again, Mario captured it, and had to quickly dodge another angry swipe from the rabbit.

"GRAHH! GET BACK HERE!" she shouted in fury. Mario dodged another swipe, finally getting far enough to snap backward at her. He jumped out, causing the chomp to smash into the rabbit's head again. "That. Is. IT! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE NOW, PLUMBER!" the furious rabbit lady shrieked, face now _purple_ with rage. She once again picked up her pet and chucked it at Mario.

"Oh crap, she's _really_ mad now!" Mario yelped, dodging the solid gold guard dog. It lunged at him again, this time scoring a hit. It threw him into the invisible barrier that prevented him from quitting the fight. Mario fell to the ground and clutched his throwing arm. "Gah! That hurt!" he said. He dove out of the way as the chomp flew at him again. Cappy, seeing that his partner was incapacitated at the moment, knocked the chain-chomp's hat off and forced Mario to capture it.

"OOOOOOOHHH, I'M GONNA KILL YOU! GRAHH!" the blindly furious rabbit lady screeched, dashing at Mario the golden guard dog and swiping. Mario hopped off at his highest speed, being only a little faster than the giant angry rabbit.

"[She's crazy! Who knew that _anybody_ could get this mad?]" Mario shouted.

"She's lazy? Dude, she's anything _but_ lazy!" Cappy said. If Mario had hands, he would've facepalmed.

"[Not lazy, crazy! She's crazy!]" Mario said.

"Ahh, sorry. My chain-chomp is a little rusty," Cappy said, winking idiotically. (Please don't make terrible puns, Cappy.) Mario rolled his eyes and jumped out of the chomp, causing it to fly one final time into the angry rabbit lady's face. It exploded. Then, she exploded too.

"Oh hey, I won! That was way more exciting than the first boss battle," Mario said nonchalantly. He went and grabbed the Power Moon that the rabbit had dropped. He then proceeded to do the Moon Get! dance. Cappy gave him a look.

"I thought you promised to _not_ do that," he said. They flew off into the air because of the plot.

Mario and Cappy landed next to the rusty airship. "Alright," Cappy said, "I think we've got enough Moons to power it now." They did the exact same thing as before, and got the exact same result. "Whaaa?" Cappy said, confused. He looked at the number on the airship's sail. "Darn it, we need one more Moon!" They trekked off in search of another Moon.

"Where are all of the Power Moons?" Mario said frustratedly. In his anger, he kicked a rock. Then he felt how bad of an idea that was. "MMMMMNNNN!" he moaned, falling over and grabbing his foot.

"You know," Cappy said, "For someone who can break through a brick wall with his hands, your feet aren't very strong." Mario glared at him, and then accidentally rolled into the river.

"WHOoPHh!" he yelped, blowing out a stream of bubbles. Then he glanced up a bit and saw a Moon. "Youghg hagb gobh dho bhe khibbing mhe."

Back by the rusted airship, Cappy was putting the Moon in. He watched as it floated into the cloudy glass jar thing. Suddenly, the entire ship shimmered and turned red. "Woah, I fixed it!" Cappy said. Mario stared at him.

"You didn't fix anything, it fixed itself!" he said. He stepped onto the ship's balcony and waited. "Uhh, how do we make it fly?" he asked. Cappy looked at the globe a bit more closely.

"I assume we select the kingdom we want to go to," the floating white top hat responded.

"Then take us to the Mushroom Kingdom!" Mario said. Cappy frantically waved his arms.

"Hold your horses, man! We don't have enough Power Moons to go _that_ far!" he said. "The furthest we can possibly get is the Sand Kingdom. If we're lucky, Bowser might be there." Mario groaned.

"Oh no, are we going to have to go to _every single kingdom_ before we can get to the Mushroom Kingdom?" he said. Then he sighed. "Oh well, take us to the Sand Kingdom."

"Aye aye, captain!" Cappy said, selecting the Sand Kingdom on the globe. The ground shook, and the rock around the ship began to crack. "Hang on to something, we're about to break free!" Cappy shouted. The rock shattered, knocking Mario over. He got back up as they flew off into the sky.

"Sand Kingdom, here we come!" Mario said.

 **And that concludes the Cascade Kingdom. Hope you enjoyed! Question Of The Day: Who's your favorite Mario character?**


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